Definition Please: Curiosity

Welcome back, friends. My short hiatus is done. Last week I posted about how kids like the little things in life and it has inspired the creation of Small and Simple Things Week. All week long, there will be posts that emphasize some aspect of the little things that we all miss or forget or don't enjoy any more. Hope it's a great week for you. On to today's post.

I've noticed as I watch my children, and most children in general, that they are curious about everything. My 18 month old will sit on the floor, happily stacking blocks to see how high he can get them. My 3 year old throws rocks in the air to watch them fall down again. (Yes, he gets hit in the head fairly frequently, but a mommy kiss makes it all better. I don't know why.) Little children are constantly figuring out how the world works and what the rules are. Their curiosity is boundless. Sometimes, they are curious to the point of it becoming dangerous. "What happens when I run out in the street?" "What if I stick my finger in the electric socket?" "What if I try to help mommy cook dinner?" Everything and anything is interesting, whether it should be or not.

I've found that as a writer, a healthy sense of curiosity is pretty much essential to success. I have to be able to look at things and ask myself, "What happens next? If my character does this, what will it mean for that?" Curiosity drives me to find new situations, new ideas, and new possibilities for the stories I write. I think that a really big sense of curiosity might be part of what gets a lot of us writing. We want to explore the world, but we can't do it in normal ways. We can't hop on a jet to Bora Bora. We write about it. Pretty much every story idea I've had has been the result of a "what if this" question. I'm curious.

Curiosity makes the world a richer, more fulfilling experience. What are you curious about? How does curiosity help your writing?

Definition Please: Flexibility

And we're not talking about back flips and doing the splits. (Although that's being flexible, too.)

One of the things I've learned about writing recently is that you have to be flexible. There are just too many variables to life to have a rigid idea of what writing is and how to do it. What works for one person really won't work for me. My writing process is unique, just like what I write is unique.

As a mom, I cram in my writing time. I have to take what I can get between boo-boos and naps. Some days, there's a bunch of time, but other days, I'm doing really great if I get to open the file and read what I wrote last time. If I weren't flexible, I could easily decide that it wasn't worth it. I mean, who wants to keep working on a project that gets sporadic attention and may take months to finish?

Not only do I have to be flexible about when I write, I have to be willing to bend on what I write. This has become especially true with revision. I have to set aside what I have already written and look at what would be better. Keep the options open. Avoid being rigid in my ideas. Being flexible keeps the story growing and changing until it's something that I never dreamed it could be and is infinitely better than what I first envisioned.

So what does flexibility mean to you? What are you flexible about?

Definition Please: Inspiration

This is a pretty important subject for a writer. And coincidentally, one of the most commonly asked questions from those who know you are a writer. "What inspired you to write?"

Inspiration has a two fold sort of definition for me. There's the "what inspired me to start" side and the "what inspires me to keep going" side. I've mentioned the initial spurt that got me writing briefly before. Lots of things figured into it. I couldn't sleep one night and my husband said, "Tell yourself a story." We didn't have internet or TV at the time, so I started to write down the story I told myself to help me fall asleep. But even before that, I had a list of life goals. Kind of like a bucket list, but not. Things on my list include: put together a CD. Write meaningful books. Become a mother. Mostly, the things on this list are inspired by the legacy I want to leave behind. Before I became a mother or a writer or a singer, I wanted to have a piece of me for whoever cares about it after I am gone. It's kind of a big sort of feeling.

What keeps me writing? Well, there's this.

Okay. Mostly my family keeps me going. I have the coolest cheerleaders ever. I don't have any music play lists or anything like that to get me in the mood to write. I just have the hope that it will be meaningful for my kids to have something that I did.


What inspired you to start writing? What keeps you going?

Definition Please: Community

Writing is a lonely business. We spend all our time staring at a piece of paper or a computer screen, pouring out the things that only we see. We squeak in as much time as we can from our every day lives. If we are really lucky, this is our full-time gig and we do it all day. And we love it. We love to put little pieces of ourselves into words. It's still lonely.

That's why we need community. People who understand what we are doing. Where we have been and where we are going. Why we feel driven to do it.

My writing life and my personal life has been enriched and supported by the people I have met in the writing community. When I'm having a down day, there's always a blog post or a comment from someone that picks me up again. When I'm enjoying a bit of success, there's someone out there doing a happy dance with me. It makes the journey a little less lonely. For a career path that leans toward the solitary, having a sense of community seems pretty important.

To all of you who have become part of my community, thank you. From the bottom of my feet. Because the bottom of my heart just doesn't feel like enough. You will never know how much you mean to me.

What does community mean to you? How has being part of a writing community helped you?

Definition Please: Diligence

So, right now, I'm working my way through several different character traits that seem pretty important for a writer. It's probably something that everyone has thought about at one point or another: what makes a good author?

It's easy to think that you (speaking in the hypothetical, second person sort of you) have written the world's first perfect draft. It's easy to think that you will be the one that will find a kick butt agent with your very first query attempt. It's easy to think that an editor will fight for the rights to your book with an auction that gives you a HUGE advance. It's easy to think that you will be the one to become the overnight sensation.

It's hard to keep going when none of those things happen. It's hard to accept criticism and recognize the truth in it. It's hard to believe that rejection from an agent isn't a reflection of you as a person. It's hard to continue to put hours and hours and hours into something when you don't know if it will ever get you anywhere.

And that's where diligence comes in. To keep on when you don't see anything coming from it, when you lose motivation, inspiration, and desire. To just work through it.

I first figured this out as a mom, actually. No matter how many times I do the dishes or pick up the house or fold the laundry, it will have to be done again in two hours, two days, two weeks, two years. I have to be diligent about it, no matter how many times I have to do it. Nobody else is going to pick up the slack if I don't. And it's the same with my writing.

So, when things are feeling tough, when the words just aren't coming, when other things get in the way, I'm going to be diligent.

How do you define diligence? What does it mean to you?

Definition Please: Success

Lots of people talk about success, but what exactly do they mean?

My husband and I have recently been talking about this subject, quite a bit. (We're a good mix. When I'm down, he's up and vice versa.) Right now, he's having a hard time with work and feeling like he's not really getting any where. A few weeks ago, I felt the same way about my writing. The advice he gave me was to figure out what success means to me.

For him, success is being able to pay all the bills. And provide for the family. And still have free time to spend with us.  I don't have a job as a stay at home mom, so I don't really have a tangible measure of success like my husband does. I've been talking to lots of different people about what they think success is and I'm surprised how each person has a unique idea. Success always seems to be catered to the individual situation.

So, for me, right now, trying to be a wife, mom, and writer, I want to find my personal definition of success. I have some pretty lofty goals and some high personal expectations, and frankly, I disappoint myself a little too frequently because of it. What I consider a success has been a little elusive, and therefore, I am always left thinking I could have done better. So, here we go.

If I can spend some quality time with each of my family members during the day without resorting to the TV for entertaining or diverting, it's a success. (No limits or specific expectations of what quality time is or how long it has to be.)

If I get the house clean at least once during the day, it's a success. (Even if the house doesn't stay clean after I have finished.)

If the dirty dishes don't fill the sink and run out onto the cabinet before I get to them, it's a success.

If I can open up my WIP and get even a few hundred words a day, it's a success.

Anything beyond these things is gravy. Or maybe icing. I'm much more a sweet tooth. If I persistently seek success in these simple things, the forever elusive big things will surely happen.

What defines success for you?