Why?

I've discovered that there are two ways to approach life. Not discovered, really, but more remembered. This week has been one of the top ten, all-time worst possible weeks. Especially considering that it was a holiday and should have been pretty happy and easy going. My little family has been sick. My two year old got so sick, he had to have an IV because of dehydration. None of us have slept really well because of the general sickness in the house. My husband had a kidney stone the day after Christmas. My grandmother had a mini-stroke and is probably in surgery as I write this. Being in the leadership at church, we got to take care of one family who had a nearly fatal stabbing incident and another family who spent the week in the hospital after the husband almost died. It's all taken an emotional toll on me, leaving me on the exhausted and sick side, myself.

Yesterday, I was doing some grocery shopping when my mom called to tell me about my grandmother. It was like the final straw, placed so carefully on an already over-burdened back. My first reaction was to buy chocolate. After all, every emotional emergency requires chocolate as salve. I spent the rest of the evening feeling like some sort of truck had run over me and it was completely unrepairable. It felt like if one more thing went wrong, I was going to explode or something equally unpleasant.

It was in that moment that I realized that things are going to go wrong. I know. It's kind of obvious. Of course, things are going to go wrong. Which brings me back to the original premise. There are two ways of dealing with it. I can sit and be miserable, wallowing in all the wrongness that surrounds me, or I can look for the good that is hiding behind all the rotten stuff. In an effort to turn my week around, that is just what I'm going to do. Bear with me.

My two-year-old may have had to get an IV, but he didn't have to be hospitalized. In fact, today, he is back to his normal sick self, running around like nothing is really wrong. The kidney stone happened at a time when I could just take care of my husband without worrying about my kids. Grandma and Grandpa were there to watch them and I didn't have to worry about that, too. Neither of our friends died. My grandmother's stroke was minor and didn't effect any of her brain function. She has a 97% success rate for her surgery, and will likely recover without any lasting problems. I've been able to avoid the cough and cold of the rest of my family enough to take care of them.

Even though a lot of things have happened to us recently, I have some measure of peace right now. I don't want to say it could've been worse (even though it really could have). I just want to say I'm glad that there are always positive things that outweigh the negative ones if I am willing to look for them.

And this brings me to the final point. I'm going to add to my list of goals for the coming year. This one is a little harder to measure, so I'm working on the logistics. I will look for and recognize the positive in my life. Maybe this means that I will find five things every day that I am grateful for. Maybe I will have a blessings journal. I don't know yet. But that is what I want to do. It's so easy to get sucked into the "poor me"s and I don't want that for myself or my loved ones. I'm a lot more pleasant to be around when I see the nicer side of life. So, there you have it. This is my long winded way of getting there. I want to be happier in the coming year! Go me!